So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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