dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
