jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
