we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
