i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
