Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
