My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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