and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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