No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize