I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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