i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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