So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
