She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
