Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
