hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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