Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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