why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
