i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
