I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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