Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
