I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
