I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
