hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
