Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
