It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
