my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
