I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
