why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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