worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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