I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
