I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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