i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
