he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize