she is the kim kardashian of front butts
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
