I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
