No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
