Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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