he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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