So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
