Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
