Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
