It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Pants are for mortals
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
