My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
