I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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