I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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