So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
