yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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