I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize