Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Enjoy the penises
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
