Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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