I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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