my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
