I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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