i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
