Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
