do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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