that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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