I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
