hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this just has baby written all over it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
