We won't sleep together?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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