beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
