im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
