How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
