1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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