I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
